I Hurt My Spouse…I Need HELP!!!

“I hurt my spouse…I know its wrong but they make me so angry.” “If they would just do what I tell them I would not have to hurt them.” “I never hit them, but sometimes I call them names…thats not really abuse.” “I told my spouse they couldn’t hang out with people I don’t like….I would do the same thing if they asked me to.”

I know I am the abuser but they know how to “push my buttons”.

You may already know that you abuse your spouse. It may be extremely hard for you to stop. You feel that if they wouldn’t “push your buttons” you wouldn’t get upset and you wouldn’t be forced to use physical or verbal force.

Abuse does not happen because of the other person. It does not happen because they pushed you too far or because they “got mouthy”. It does not happen because of their “bad choice” to spend time with a “bad group of people” you don’t like, so you seclud them from their families and/or friends.

Abuse happens because the abuser is a hurting person. Hurt people, hurt people ( Dr. Penewit talks about this in his most recent article, “Hurt people, hurt people…hurting people”).

How do I stop?

Stopping the abuse without professional help would be nearly impossible. There needs to be healing in you before there can be healing in your relationship. There also needs to be healing in your family. If you and your spouse have children, they need healing as well. You may think that you are hiding the abuse from your children but it is more likely they already know what is going on.

You may  have grown up in an abusive house and have suffered. You are now passing the pains from your past onto your spouse and children. It is up to you to crush that generational curse.

If you are struggling with abusing your spouse and you need help, contact us. We can help you find healing for yourself, your spouse, your children, and your relationship.